"Your Keeper requested you as a friend on Facebook!" ~Dan Shorrock, Jan 2011
"I spent all night conquering Europe and woke up to an explosion. This was awesome." ~Dex Nicholson (as Daniel), Jan 2011
"Eavesdropping is rude, but only because I'm not very good at it." ~Leah Shein (as Birdie), Jan 2011
"If Birdie weren't armed, she'd probably go [distraction] 'Ooh slinky!'" ~Leah Shein, Jan 2011
"Hello, I've forgotten my name again, Dr. Carleton's secretary speaking, how can I help you?" ~Paige Andrews, Feb 2011
"Now remember, knowing is half the battle. The other half is violence." ~Ben Schneider (not strictly from the game, but so very applicable), Feb 2011
"Yes! I failed!" ~Dex Nicholson (upon character's first degeneration roll), Feb 2011
"We are Fairest! We will bludgeon you with our social skills!" ~Dan Shorrock, Feb 2011
"Congratulations. All changelings are now Krogan." ~Paige Andrews (after characters survived a car attack), Feb 2011
"First rule of Fight Club: Have A Martini!" ~Leah Shein, Feb 2011
"I could put up a fight against a sneeze!" ~Dan Shorrock, Feb 2011
"Nothing kills the mood like a changeling." ~Paige Andrews, Feb 2011
"Damn you, you Japanese people! You've ruined the idea of tentacles forever!" ~Dex Nicholson, Apr 2011
"Possession does not create boyancy, as far as I'm aware." ~Leah Shein, Apr 2011
"The Durance is the ultimate study abroad." ~Dex Nicholson, Jun 2011
"I shall put on a turban and declare myself Lord Shamalama of Stealing Shit!" ~Dex Nicholson, Jun 2011
"Hookers for great justice!" ~Dan Shorrock (probably.), July 2011
"I'll [be the Spiky-haired Emo Twin]! As long as there's no slashfic." (Dan)
"Oh good God! Actually, wait a minute..." (Dex)
~Dan Shorrock and Dex Nicholson, Sep 2011
"No, we should be fine. How it works is that the thorns tear at your soul as they tear at your flesh. This is more like poking your soul with a stick." ~Dex Nicholson, Oct 2011
"I am now narcissism! On the plus side, my contract is now free." ~Leah Shein, Oct 2011
"Wearing last year's bombs to this year's war is just gauche!" ~Paige Andrews, Oct 2011
"I put on my war eyeliner! And my war dress!" ~Leah Shein, Oct 2011
"We'd stop saying it if you'd stop stabbing people!" ~Dex Nicholson, Oct 2011
"F@%&, I don't wanna go get my book. If I'm acting like Sloth in real life, can I get one Willpower back?" ~Dan Shorrock, Oct 2011
"Okay, don't count your chickens before I roll these f@%&ing dice!" ~Dan Shorrock, Nov 2011
"I get a look like it's my birthday AND Christmas, and all my presents are blowjobs!" ~Dex Nicholson (about to kill Cedar/the Big Bad), Nov 2011
"And inside is the mildly crushed majority of Cedar's head." ~Paige Andrews, Dec 1, 2011
"And you'd rather not have to go diving into the soccer mom." ~Leah Shein, Jan 2012
"Oh, what's a little negligent homicide between friends?" ~Leah Shein (as Birdie), Feb 2012
"My tits are nicer than yours; listen to me!" ~Leah Shein (as Birdie), Feb 2012
"I don't run, but I quickly skulk to the back." ~Dex Nicholson (as Daniel), Mar 2012
"Great. The Invisible Pink Unicorn took an Invisible Pink Poo in the middle of my living room." ~Paige Andrews, Mar 2012
"And then we can retroactively make your tea. ...I swear that's innuendo for something." ~Paige Andrews, Jul 2012
"Hell smells like almonds. That's a new one." ~Paige Andrews, August 2012
"Well well, the tables, they have- CLIMB A TREE!" ~Dex Nicholson, August 2012
"Am I under attack? Oh please tell me I'm under attack!!!" ~Dex Nicholson, August 2012
"Sorry, I was just having a psychotic breakdown, please continue." ~Dex Nicholson, August 2012
"It's a pity the police don't believe in my imaginary pants." ~Dex Nicholson, August 2012
"Are we allowed to take a time share out on our souls?" ~Dex Nicholson, September 2012
"No, you cannot do toilet magic." ~Leah Shein, September 2012
"What do I care if my ass is now posted on somebody's window? I can do magic, bitch!" ~Dex Nicholson, October 2012
"His tiptoes do nothing around my landmines!" ~Dex Nicholson, October 2012
"I think that the imaginary church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has just had its first schism!" ~Paige Andrews, October 2012
"Do squirrels count?!?" ~Paige Andrews, as NPC, November, 2012
"I got 99 dice, but a crit ain't 1." ~Dex Nicholson, May 2013
"Changeling Rescue Service. We also do damsels on weekends." ~Joseph Baum, May 2013
"Prymja is involved. Of course there's velociraptors" ~Paige Andrews, July 2013
"I don't think they make a 12-step program for Contract addiction." ~Unknown
"Ookay, I'm gonna fold it up real quick and put it back, before I spontaneously become boring!" ~Leah Shein
"I don't know how to write peanut butter." ~Leah Shein
"Sometimes when you play a crazy person, you have to make bad decisions." ~Leah Shein
"Can I get a fuck yeah!" "Can I get a tourniquet?" ~Dex Nicholson
"Can I fall upon him like the wrath of an angry god?" ~Dex Nicholson
"And I bet he wet himself in his mind." ~Leah Shein
"I am an attention whore! I have derangements to prove it!" ~Leah Shein
"I have so many band-aids." ~Dex Nicholson, discussing the feeling of iron, October, 2015
"Maybe it's because they respect cabinet doors so much that they think you're like, slut shaming them or something." ~Dex Nicholson, October 2015
"You still got to do the Kool-Aid man." ~Leah Shein, October 2015
"And I need to put on the correct psycho hat, because I have the wrong psycho in my head!" Leah Shein, October 2015
"No, Birdie, I do not believe that that person's head is a tomato." Dex Nicholson, October 2015
"Ok, I will try to lightly break his finger." Joe Baum, December 2015
"You'd better watch out, or I'll keep killing my own henchmen!" Dex Nicholson, December 2015
"I'm... too indie for my shirt" Heather Manly, December 2015
"And then you have Birdie who looks like she will happily break your mind into tiny little pieces and feed it to the cat that lives in her brain." Paige Andrews, January 2016
"You cannot run into burning buildings with disorganized ducks, Saepi!" Leah Shein, January 2016
"I'm going to get up on my high horse and set up my artillery piece." Joe Baum, January 2016
"Do you commission murders, or do you just commission outings where murders occur naturally?" Dex Nicholson, March 3, 2016
"That's nice, where do you get the Token?" Paige Andrews
"My 7-Wyrd ass, that's where!" Dex Nicholson, March 3, 2016
"So on a scale of 1 to ninja-turtles-in-trench-coats, how suspicious would it look for me to try to cover up my body armour? Dex Nicholson, March 24, 2016
"[If she doesn't want to be protected, I'm not protecting her,] because she's a strong independent woman who likes bullets, apparently." Dex Nicholson, March 31, 2016
"Shut up, Shoulder-Katie, you're not going to guilt me into talking to Real-Katie about this!" Dex Nicholson, April 21, 2016
"Come oooon, I could totally do it just once. We're not talking about pringles, we're talking about people." Leah Shein, May 5, 2016
"My life is an Evanescence song!" Leah Shein, May 5, 2016
"What should I tell him to do?" *brightly* "Kill his friends!? I don't care!" Leah Shein and Heather Manly, May 19, 2016
"You think they'd specify this directly in the book, but I guess they don't expect us to be cannibals?" Leah Shein, May 19, 2016
"This is less a case of looking a gift horse in the mouth, and more a case of 'you have received a gift. What animal is it?'" Dex Nicholson, May 26, 2016
"No big game hunter has ever gone after a god!" Dex Nicholson, May 26, 2016
"Why, because you don't want to go into combat and introduce yourself as a chef?" Leah Shein, June 23, 2016
"I feel like this is a situation where either you win or you die." "So then it's Game of Thrones?" "Don't accept ANY wedding invitations!" Leah Shein, Heather Manly, Dexter Nicholson, July 21, 2016
"I'm sorry, they ask really hard!" "Twice, even!" Leah Shein, Dexter Nicholson, August 4, 2016
"I really don't want my What'shername to die." Birdie, August 11, 2016
"I can be the man of a thousand faces!" "Yes, but that doesn't keep you from being SHOT in the one you're wearing at the time!" Joe and Heather, February 23, 2017
"Anastasia, please. If I died every time someone tried to kill me, we would not be having this conversation." Dex Nicholson, March 16, 2017
"Because I like Schall, and I don't want to have to break in another FBI agent!" Joe Baum, June 1, 2017
"There IS a plate glass window! You love us, you really love us!" "There is! With a table right in front of it. This is my gift to you!" Heather and Paige, June 8, 2017
"It's a, 'hello. I am insane.' " Leah Shein, July 13, 2017
"I raise my servant at him. Well my arms are full, and I'm hardly going to raise my Birdie!" Dex Nicholson, July 13, 2017
"But no, we can't spend all our statues, because we have to buy information, or something!" Leah Shein, August 24, 2017
"So I guess I have two guns. One that is guaranteed to work, and the other that will fuck your day over, if physics decides to cooperate." Dex Nicholson, January 18, 2017
"If we RPG calling the insurance company, I'm exiting this call." Zoe Pruitt, February 15, 2018
"She's a bird in a tube! She can't be Osmosis Jones!" David Glasser, March 1, 2018
"Yeah, make me spicy!" Zoe Pruitt, March 8, 2018
"I was going to say, "come, Ruby, let us show her that the women are sane," but then I realized that I was including myself in that." Leah Shein, March 22, 2018
"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Asshole, so..." Leah Shein, April 12, 2018
"I'm like a ninja! Who shouts brazenly to the skies like a bad ninja!" David Glasser, May 10, 2018
"I'll believe whatever I have to to do whatever the hell I want." Dex Nicholson, May 11, 2018
"I ate the chicken nuggets, I can eat the rest of the things!" Zoe Pruitt threatening David Glasser, June 7, 2018
"I feel like, if anyone had the hobby of breaking the normal bounds of reality, it would be Birdie." Dex Nicholson, August 16, 2018
"What am I gonna do, track down the Illuminati? No. I'm gonna sit here and go, 'ooooo, Illuminati!'" Zoe Pruitt, September 6, 2018
"Look, to me, everything means "punch my face." Zoe Pruitt, September 6, 2018
"No, this is my FANCY war dress. My 'going to war at the opera' dress." Leah Shein, September 6, 2018
"As soon as [Paige] starts describing things in depth, I'm like 'oh fuck!'" Zoe Pruitt, October 25, 2018
"I have a twig that doesn't exist!" Leah Shein, November 8, 2018
"You can't arrest a bird." "You can try really hard, but it won't work very well." November 15, 2018
"I'm not calling you a hypocrite, I'm calling you stupid." Leah Shein, November 29, 2018
"This is part of my hero's journey! For sniping. With a sociopath." David Glasser, December 6, 2018
"High Wyrd changelings are like Batman! We have all the power of Batman, with all the crippling angst and loss of Batman." "MY PARENTS ARE GENTRYYYYY" December 13, 2018
"IT WOULD GET US BANNED FROM TUMBLR, OKAY." Leah Shein, December 27, 2018
"I just realized that Birdie may be the only God/Goddess that accepts food coloring as offerings." Dex NIcholson, January 2, 2019
"Are you an expert in bird law?" January 2, 2019
"The plan IS Leeroy Jenkins." Leah Shein, January 10, 2019
"I want to wait for Birdie's signal." "The signal is screaming :D" January 10, 2019
"I ACTIVATE BOO!" Leah Shein, January 10, 2019
"You can probably make a giant penis shaped storm." January 19, 2019
"We ate a rock." "It was a delicious rock!" January 19, 2019
"You shouldn't just get into a car with people, because they could ALL BE MURDERERS." January 19, 2019
"But I'm trying to be casual, so every so often I just yell LEISURE!" Zoe Pruitt, January 19, 2019
"Solomon, if you didn't start with three dots of angst at character creation, I don't know what you're doing." January 24, 2019
*dismissively* "They can go fishing, I'm doing ART." January 24, 2019
"Just Solomon is my first and then my second first name." David Glasser, January 24, 2019
"Tables can be beds. Chaaaaaairs can be upside down chairs." Zoe Pruitt, January 24, 2019
"But it is no lie. We are going to DISNEY WORLD." January 24, 2019
"Pancakes is library food. We all know that." David Glasser, January 24, 2019
"This car seems a little not narcissistic. Did we forget something?" January 31, 2019
"Are you going to scream at it?" "I AM ABSOLUTELY GOING TO SCREAM AT IT." January 31, 2019
"It is a wild, wild world out there. Who knows if they have human comforts like laundry machines?" January 31, 2019
"This is the Murder Mystery Machine." February 7, 2019
"Ruby! That is very rude and was what I was supposed to ask." David Glasser, February 14, 2019
"Something is done with the bedsheets. So that I don't die." Leah Shein, February 14, 2019
"Okay, realistically, there's only one town in Wisconsin." Heather Manly, February 21, 2019
"That's not how you shame people out of existence. I have done that before, and that is a different contract." Leah Shein, February 21, 2019
"MONKEYS ARE REAL!!!!!!!" February 21, 2019
"If I get magic herpes, I'm gonna be really upset." ... "If I'm gonna get a disease, it's gonna be from crazy sex." Zoe Pruitt, February 21, 2019
"There's also a lot of gyrating happening there, I hear. Summer courtiers like that too." February 21, 2019
"There's a Hollywood, Florida." ... "No there's not." February 2019
"What do you want me to say? I punched a monkey." Zoe Pruitt, February 22, 2019
"The point is that this will be the dumbest thing possible. Hedgebeasts will stay away out of fear of association." Dex Nicholson, February 22, 2019
"... so basically like if a surfer dude HAPPENED to be a prince of England." Dex Nicholson, March 7, 2019
"Ruby's dead" [Stage Direction] "Move on." Dex Nicholson, March 28, 2019
"Prymja, you're dead. Move on." David Glasser, April 4, 2019
"Do you prefer your freehold shaken or stirred?" Dex Nicholson, April 4, 2019
"I am a shoulder-mounted insanity cannon!" Leah Shein, April 19, 2019
"Put your tongue in it, man, the motley depends on it!" David Glasser, June 6, 2019
"No, he's Solomon's morality tumor." Leah Shein, June 27, 2019
"Sure! Abraca-waffle!" Dex Nicholson, July 4, 2019
"What are you talking about, there was plenty of supervision! There were waffles RIGHT THERE!!" Dex Nicholson, July 12, 2019
"Congratulations, you've canonized someone." Paige Andrews, August 22, 2019
"You're getting your bearings by stepping all over my eggshells." Dex Nicholson (as Prymja) to David Glasser's Solomon, February 13, 2020
"That's what happens when you have too many side-hoes, Birdie!" Dex Nicholson, July 16, 2020
"Oh that's so rude! I forgot to introduce you to my knife! ~ Prymja, Nov 2020
"I'm trying to do the wink-wink nudge-nudge, but I'm too sore to do the winking or the nudging" - Prymja